My blog was intended to be a documentation of a journey I began four years ago. In the course of that time, the journey has become more of a storm I have to travel through to arrive on the other side. I began by slowly taking very small steps toward somewhere. At first it was all mechanical in nature, but it eventually seemed to be taking shape as a life began to appear. I expressed a sigh of relief as I assumed I had maneuvered through the storm and noticed signs of the shoreline ahead. The assumption, I quickly discovered, was premature as I took a moment to gaze back over the obstacles I had conquered. Although victorious in so many respects, I was about to understand I was standing in the eye of the storm and would soon discover there was more work to be done.
As I wrote for this blog, I unintentionally began to visit old wounds….thoughts, beliefs, and fears. I have begun to realize not only was I burying what I did not want to deal with, but I was inadvertently burying parts of myself as well. I slowly became empty and overwhelmingly full at the same time. I am being tossed and battered by tremendous waves of my own creation.
My chaos evident in the kaleidoscope of ideas I have posted. The topics and forms are quite varied. An eclectic array of all I have been feeling and dealing with in this short time span. Each marked by its own unique beauty in some type of art form. However, I long to be directed by my muse into my own style: to find my unique niche in this world. I am slowly beginning to understand for such a forward movement to take place I need to find all parts of me. Allowing them to become fused and old ideals let go in order to transform me into who I AM. It is evidently necessary that I must become the catalyst of change if I want conquer the stormy seas.
With each turn, the kaleidoscope creates endless depictions of beauty…
I too, like the kaleidoscope, am ever changing;
The next form of beauty is just one turn away.