I am awake and nervous for a few reasons. Mainly because I lack confidence at the start line. The nervousness also comes from circumstances in my life right now. My job is to not let the circumstance become the object of my own self sabotage.
I finally embarked on a new job three weeks ago. It was a necessary thing for my own personal well being as well as financial. This job is with a reputable company, but not a position I have ever done or would have looked for under different circumstances. We are in the middle of a pandemic which brings enough anxiety to the table, but this position delves into the telecommunications field in a call center environment. Neither of which were on my resume until now.
The position offers a security many do not have currently. It is a security I lacked prior to any global situation. So, I am moving forward trying to muster all the confidence I know to be true within myself. Looking for my personal truths and realizing you can teach an old dog new tricks.
Yesterday ended with my little dog having issues with her left leg. She too is not as young as she once was! As I fell asleep my mind starts telling me I need to make her issue my main concern while my gut argues my training takes precedence. Although I know she needs to just rest her poor little leg and I’ll have someone check on her part way through the day my fear turns my attention away from my duties. (Insert anxiety) These bantering thoughts mixed in with recollections of the abundance of information I don’t want to forget made for a restless night.
Being aware of the sabotage gives me wisdom and strength to fight off the silly little gremlins chattering away. I must focus my attention inward. I must choose to believe in my abilities. I am excellent at customer service and I know I can learn the technology. For heavens sake, the technology was a constant conversation while my husband worked in this field for years. So why am I questioning my ability to such a job? Because silly little gremlins plant the seeds of doubt and fear. Boy, can I harvest them! So the war wages and I continue my fight for balance. It is another day and another chapter on my journey.
Keep trying and you keep winning. Quitting and giving up is the only form of failure.
I hope we all are safe, doing what we can, and enjoying the new day💕