Just Surrender Already

Sometimes we land in an unfamiliar undesired territory. It is where we are and the choices, although ours, seem somewhat coerced from sources unseen. During these times we must surrender to what is and let go of what is desired.

I am here; Grateful in our new normal to have a job and a home. I am having difficulty though letting go of my vision of what I desired. My old job was not surviving the new situation with COVID. It was time to make changes. Changes I made with prayers to bring me to a good outcome. And today I am here.

Now accepting that the universe knows what it is doing is a difficult matter for me on a few levels. I am now out in a workforce surrounded, with distance, to people. I am also working hours in a job I never would have chosen when given choices. But nonetheless I have found myself in this place with those little whispers of dreams still dancing inside. It is making acceptance difficult to say the least.

Letting go is an idea I am getting an education on. The lessons are painful in varying degrees. If I would just allow the lesson maybe moving forward would come more gracefully. I am however hard headed or slow at times. Maybe even a little controlling one would say! These characteristics can be very helpful in some circumstances, but at the present moment they inflict undue stress and confusion. Knowledge is wonderful until my mind rebuttals, But!

I am fully aware with the knowledge of who I am and how I am reacting. So why do I keep ending up back at resistance. Anything less than surrender will keep my mind spinning in this cycle. As I write I know, “I know”.  And yet….

….Writing is where I go when I need my thoughts organized and not running amok in my mind. And today, once again, it holds the answers I seek. ‘Grateful’ cannot be a fleeting thought that gets swallowed up by all the contradicting thoughts in there. It must be a solid feeling, regardless of everything else.

So to me I say, “think heavily on this concept and find your way to really being grateful. Just surrender already!”

2 thoughts on “Just Surrender Already

  1. So eloquently stated. I know exactly where you are coming from. For the past 2 years for sure I have been there. Life, as I knew it and thought, was how I wanted it stood me on my head. It pretty much broke me. I too being hard-headed and totally self-reliant I trudged on trying to adapt to the cards I was dealt. Finally, after reaching for what seemed to be the final straw, I stood tall, after crumbling within myself, I accepted help from a family member and made a change. It was hard and humbling to allow someone to help me and give in to my vulnerabilities. Once the resumes and cover letters and application processes were complete the wait began. It surprisingly was a short wait. As I prepared my self for the interviews, I began to relinquish some of the hopelessness and just let go. I was offered a new job and graciously and excitedly accepted. Wow-what a life-changing moment It was as if this opportunity, had just saved my life, and in a way it had. In part, this was due to you. Why, do you ask? You have been through so much and reading your work helped to show me that no matter what is thrown our way, we can get through it with perseverance, hope, faith, and sheer determination. I have been stuck in this thing called life and gradually emerging a new person with a new outlook on life. Recently I was offered a new position and spent a lot of time weighing my options and took time to see all aspects. I came to a peaceful decision to decline the offer. I am right where I need, want, and feel I am destined to be. There are still hiccups now and then, but this is life and it is inevitable. I am so proud of my journey and your journey. We are both proud and independent women. I see your struggles and know deep down you will overcome because look at all you’ve survived thus far. I have learned this to be true…….all things come to those who wait. Thank you!

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    1. Thank you Dee and your welcome! Your message couldn’t have come on a better day! Thank you my friend for bringing me back to this today. I needed to read it.
      We will continue on becoming the person’s we are meant to be. Even the hard-headed have to eventually let go… The universe will continue to knock until it finally wears us down to compliance for what is meant to be ours. Resistance only lasts so long and then we must accept what it ours. Good luck on your personal journey. I am proud of us too!

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