Individually Unique, Collectively the Same

I am warning that I am not writing any of this lightly or without vigilance. None of the thoughts contained within this post are anything, but uniquely mine.

I deal with this whole situation with the same tenacity I do anything else in life. I like to ask questions and do not take what I hear or see as absolute without them. I am also trying not to be led by the fears. Whether it’s the scariness of this virus, the highly infected areas that my children live in, the uncertainties in which we are all living, the increased aloneness I am feeling, or the memories I sit with in the quiet. I pray for those I know and all those I do not. It is a crazy changing world right now. It has shown us both sides of human nature, although I believe more good than bad.

As I sat on my porch enjoying nature, warmth, and the fact that I and my family are healthy as of today; I notice little things….birds coming right up to the porch to gather seed off the ground, the beautiful melody of my chimes accompanying the bird songs, the simple love of my little dog cuddled in my lap, and the coziness of my spaces. I am grateful amidst the scariness.

A thought; -one I hope evolves into more but for now was enough- I wish we would all see and understand for all our uniqueness we are all the same. Not race, color, creed, nationality, religion, sex or age has made any person better or immune to the virus.

It would be wonderful if we could understand, beyond all the things making us different we are all the same. The essence of being human makes us connected by a sameness. Maybe in this realization we can come out the other side better, more supportive, and more connected.

Praying for the entire world…Health, wisdom, and togetherness! ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’•

Feeling like Spring

“Digger” Dallas
“Welcome” at the door

A little warmer today with sun shining. I feel like Spring…new season, new year cycle, new beginnings.

Started with an outside floral arrangement and a grooming for the puppy. A spring cleaning for the house…clearing out the winter doldrums. Maybe even a little bit of cobwebs out of the brain.

I know winter is not done with us quite yet, but it is a day filled with hope of new things to come.

LEGACY

Legacy

Since writing Love’s Saving Grace I have been on kind of hiatus when it comes to writing. I have been overwhelmed by emotion, questions, and analyzing. Basically, I imprisoned myself in my own head. My mind can be an annoying busy place where I lose my way and can’t get out. Getting lost only makes me question myself more. Oh what chaos I have created.

Memories were joyous and saddening. I catapulted myself into questioning the why’s. Why was I now alone, why did this or that happen. I wondered again if they were the reasons I am not sure what I want to be when I grow up๐Ÿ˜Š. Why haven’t I found my way? This in itself reminds me of the rehashing to get to the root of my issues during therapy for anxiety. The hamster wheel is wildly spinning now.

Would writing these traumas from my youth and young adulthood serve to vacate them from my psyche? More questions follow begging to know whether I want to disrupt lives which continued on as if none of it happened and whether I want to go down this pointless road once again. I had forgiven, taking back my power, and moved forward. So, I ask myself why have I chosen to look at them one more time. Why can’t I accept that shit happens and sometimes the reasoning is irrelevant. The circumstance was the catalyst needed to direct me down my path.

In this shortened version of my venting and rambling I have done in my head and in my personal journal I have made a discovery or two. Things happen because they need to even when they seem unfair or merciless. Sometimes it’s a result of everyone having free will and we can’t control the choices they make. What we can control is our choices and they way in which we deal with things. I cannot answer why I have not accomplished what my younger self thought I would. Maybe my journey is about being a deeper better person than that person at age 14 was capable of envisioning.

Being we are each on a unique journey; mine, although different from anyone else’s, is not less important. Mine is a journey of a spiritual nature. I am learning connection to the Divine which is allowing me to learn the true meanings of wealth, abundance, and prosperity on a level surpassing familial teachings. I am not saying I am expected or want to live an impoverished life. I am saying without the experiences, whether good or bad, I would not be here getting stuck in my own head.  I would not have had the questions and chaos plotting the course I am on. I would have been on a different course and my legacy would be entirely different.  I strive for a legacy that celebrates the person not the things!

A Dedication

I am fine!

I will live this life on my terms…

I will learn to do what I cannot,

I will enjoy all the little moments,

I will live life to its fullest,

I will never forget the memories or the love,

For each success, big or small,

I will celebrate,

And without regret

I will allow all of these to fill my heart

with gratitude throughout my journey.

In honor and gratitude for the love & strength you bestowed upon me,

The connected parts of our souls will enjoy each breathe I take.

Always…

In my heart, whispers in my mind, & part of my soul.

I Am Fine!