It’s Wonderful Being Green

A little greenish frog has been sitting at my front door for 48 hours. Alive and well, content to sit there as my puppies and I pass over the threshold at various times throughout the day. It amazed me when I saw him still there this morning, but also has me awestruck as I realized the directions my thoughts went because of one little frog’s visit.

I searched for the spiritual message of meeting up with this little guy. It’s message talked of change and transformation. A message of travelling through the change and following my intuition. And my thoughts wandered back to a prayer from last night. I had always followed ‘my gut’ and asked for trust in it once again. I have ignored it, second guessed it, and forgot it was the whispers from Divine sources recently. And my thoughts took another detour…

This time to a distant memory of a time when I was meeting with a pastor in preparation for my second marriage. His words clear in my mind. They came in response to my answers to some questions laid out like a test from school. He reviewed my answers coming to the conclusion I was just a dreamer. Oh no, my mother’s words echo in the distance. He proceeds to tell me dreaming is okay, however, I cannot live my life in a dream state always following my heart. I defend….not just my heart. He seems not to hear and continues blah, blah, blah!

Suddenly I have a thought….it was sometime directly after that incident; the collaboration of my mother’s words, that I began having anxiety. The anxiety which comes and goes from then to now was believed to be a result of my overthinking and worry. Well this morning I have a new theory! Could it be a result of me stifling my authentic self with opinions created from past experiences. Instead, have the whispers known as intuition become shouts, known as Anxiety, attempting to get my attention? The subconscious mind knowing things are not quite balanced?

An epiphany! This little visitor not only brought me answers within his message, but relief throughout my body. Painful tensions have slowly begun to ease.

Change is inevitable and it must begin with me.

I offer gratitude and pray for peace for my little green friend.

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Another Year Goes By

I walk the line today between the past and the present. My heart is heavy laden with memories. I have taken steps toward the future while my mind drifts to the past . My heart is ‘happy/sad’ —

Happy for the Love and sad for the loss, grateful for all the memories in time and sad there are no more. It is those quiet in-between spaces which fill up with you. I gaze back to the moments in life that filled me with so much love and I can listen to your voice, but what I miss most is the touch. You can still touch so many of my senses but…..

I long to feel the physical just one more time. However, I know one more touch, one more minute, or one more day would only make me want for more. Instead, I step from those in-between spaces happy to still feel your love and presence in all the moments of today!

RIP

 

A Dedication

I am fine!

I will live this life on my terms…

I will learn to do what I cannot,

I will enjoy all the little moments,

I will live life to its fullest,

I will never forget the memories or the love,

For each success, big or small,

I will celebrate,

And without regret

I will allow all of these to fill my heart

with gratitude throughout my journey.

In honor and gratitude for the love & strength you bestowed upon me,

The connected parts of our souls will enjoy each breathe I take.

Always…

In my heart, whispers in my mind, & part of my soul.

I Am Fine!

I Am — Ever Changes

No matter what I or anyone else thinks of the person I was or I am…

“I” am is what brought me the best things in my life. Anyone different than the “I” at each moment would mean I would not have those things…

  • not my children
  • not my husband
  • not the love
  • not my puppies
  • not my friends

It is all because of the person I was at each of those moments. Good or bad, it was me and I am grateful for it all. I can honestly say I would not change what was. It would result in a loss of all I have!!