Is Winter Coming To A Close

Dragonfly. Sm2019

I have been on hiatus in so many respects in life for a while now. In my lack of posting we know writing and photography are included. However, life has seemed to stand still in an uncomfortable slumber for the past two years.

Life would move along as it seemed to be changing and awakening. Then things and/or people would fall away again. I wondered if it would ever return to the way it was. My heart was saddened, but kept its hope.

Optimism is not always an easy task. I just take ‘my moment’ before latching onto it again. My mind chatter can be so infuriating as it spews thoughts from ages gone by. It has not learned that all thoughts are not pertinent to life today. Mind chatter wants what is familiar; truths no longer true or valuable. Please listen…I am no longer that person and these thoughts or beliefs no longer concern me.

As a winter storm finally moved across our area the tide changed. It is as if I am in an aligning cycle. The people seem different as they converse with me and I feel different. There is no anticipations in life and communication. It is, it happened, and the day was lighter; maybe even a little brighter. Maybe my long winter season is finally changing.

Whatever the case, I am back to writing and photographing a little. Even in these there are no expectations; just enjoyment. Could that be it? A step back to enjoying life as it is, on its terms.

As you read this post I hope you have an Enjoyable day.

Kaleidoscope

 

fb_img_15476579609146347767327106600996.jpgMy blog was intended to be a documentation of a journey I began four years ago. In the course of that time, the journey has become more of a storm I have to travel through to arrive on the other side. I began by slowly taking very small steps toward somewhere. At first it was all mechanical in nature, but it eventually seemed to be taking shape as a life began to appear. I expressed a sigh of relief as I assumed I had maneuvered through the storm and noticed signs of the shoreline ahead. The assumption, I quickly discovered, was premature as I took a moment to gaze back over the obstacles I had conquered. Although victorious in so many respects, I was about to understand I was standing in the eye of the storm and would soon discover there was more work to be done.

As I wrote for this blog, I unintentionally began to visit old wounds….thoughts, beliefs, and fears. I have begun to realize not only was I burying what I did not want to deal with, but I was inadvertently burying parts of myself as well. I slowly became empty and overwhelmingly full at the same time. I am being tossed and battered by tremendous waves of my own creation.

My chaos evident in the kaleidoscope of ideas I have posted. The topics and forms are quite varied. An eclectic array of all I have been feeling and dealing with in this short time span. Each marked by its own unique beauty in some type of art form. However, I long to be directed by my muse into my own style: to find my unique niche in this world. I am slowly beginning to understand for such a forward movement to take place I need to find all parts of me. Allowing them to become fused and old ideals let go in order to transform me into who I AM. It is evidently necessary that I must become the catalyst of change if I want conquer the stormy seas.

kaleidoscope

With each turn, the kaleidoscope creates endless depictions of beauty…

I too, like the kaleidoscope, am ever changing;

The next form of beauty is just one turn away.

                                                                                                               ©sm2019